


stars??

by happyneurotoxin (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Just Add Kittens, Other, Smoking, this fucking sucks sorRy lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/happyneurotoxin
Summary: soft shit





	stars??

**james:** rooftop, 2 am

 **(name):** mhm

stark tower, 2:36 am

(name)'s hair floated a bit, carried by the wind as they made their way up onto the rooftop, where they saw james resting their head on a generator while playing with a stray cat. 

"you wanted to see me."

"i did, around 40 minutes ago." james turned back, the kitten in his jacket letting out an attempt at a meow as it saw the newest member of their party coming up. (name) took out a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a drag. the scars on their hips stung, a bit fresh, though james didn't know.

he never found out.

"you know it's bad for your lungs."

"i'm here for a good time, not a long time, james."

"people call me bucky around here." he turned around, watching as (name) burned it all out in one drag, smoke billowing over their lips as they snuffed it out on their wrist, tossing the butt of the cigarette over the ledge. james watched, eyes fixed on (name) as the last of the smoke rushed out as they exhaled, transfixed as they sat down next to him, playing with the kitten's ears. 

"i've heard," they responded after a heartbeat, tired voice raspy from not being used. they were dressed in their sleep clothes, their loose pants almost floating around their legs as the wind carried the fabric up, only slightly. their hands, aching from being balled into fists so much, curled up into their hair, the other one toying with the plates on james' left arm. 

"you're rubbing off on me."

"heh. rubbing off."

"the wrinkly old man living on 41st said i'm talking less and less," james said, crooked smile lighting his face up as he turned to (name), removing their hand from their hair. 

"my tea's probably gone cold." 

"i like how tea looks when it's first mixing into the water."

"it looks like ink, doesn't it?"

"yeah," he replied after a while, still latching onto the (eye color) gaze that was refusing to look back up from where it was laying on the pavement, kitten securely wrapped up in its arms while it took out another cigarette. (name)'s voice broke the next time they spoke. 

"maybe it looks like clouds to some people."

(name) couldn't cry anymore, though they were trying to. they hadn't cried in so, so, so unbearably long. 

their chest hurt. 

"-because some people are different from other people, and so on and so forth." james looked back up at (name), watching as their hair whipped around in the wind, kitten having been left to rest its head on james' thigh.  his own chest hurt too, thinking of steve, and tony, and peggy, and the more lively (name). 

he just wanted everyone back. 

he rested his head on (name)'s lap, watching for a few seconds as they tensed up, touch-starved and sensitive, before eventually relaxing. james exhaled shakily and turned his head up towards the sky, the quick and unsteady heartbeat soothing him into a gentle sleep. 

(name) looked up, sighing bitterly as they carded their hands, shaking, through james' hair. they tensed up again when his hand fell, heavy, directly onto their hip, quietly letting out a dry sob as the cuts ached, ache dulling as time passed on. they reached for his flesh hand, gently rubbing at the scars where james slammed his fist into the wall only hours ago, around the same time that (name) was in the shower, water having gone cold while they carved into their hips in multiples of 10, the pain never being enough, though james was enough of a reason for them to suffer. 

(name) gulped down another gasp when james moved, their skin sensitive from not having been touched as his hand drifted up towards the warmth. 

james was eventually carried towards his own bed, whereas (name) went back to the rooftop.

they always did. 


End file.
